April 30, 2007

  • losing my identity?

    Growing up, I never liked my name. My childhood is filled with memories of my little brother picking on me because my name rhymed so conveniently with words like "jelly," "belly," and worst of all, "smelly." I remember constantly thinking it was so unfair that my parents didn't give him a name that rhymed with any awful words that I could tease him with. My surname has always been a sore spot also. On the first day of school, teachers could never pronounce it correctly.. Half the time I couldn't pronounce it right either, thanks to my awful American-accented Cantonese.

    A few weeks ago, Mr. Eggplant and I went to a marriage conference. When we checked in at the front table, I was handed a name tag that read "Kelly [insert Mr. Eggplant last name]." Mr. Eggplant had registered both of us for the conference on the same application form, so naturally the administrators thought we were already married. As I held that name tag in my hand, I felt a sudden pang of sadness about losing my last name. Lately I've been so busy that I've never really given much thought to the whole process of changing my name. I definitely don't want to have a hyphenated name so I'm set on changing my last name to Mr. Eggplant's, but it's still a little bittersweet to think about it. Now I've been asking myself a ton of questions: Does that mean I'll need to change my gmail or yahoo email address too? What about my email at work? Should I change my middle name to my maiden name?

    I don't think it's really the name change that's affecting me. Mr. Eggplant's surname actually sounds much nicer with "Kelly" than my current last name. But it's hitting me (like a freight train) that I'm finally growing up and officially leaving my parents to build my own family with Mr. Eggplant. I'm so filled with joy, so grateful, and wistful all at the same time. The big name change is a symbolic transition of a new start with Mr. Eggplant, which is really what has me all teared up. Gosh, if I'm tearing as I write this, I'm going to be a wreck at the wedding!

    Did any of you married folks have a hard time dealing with the name switch or do you engaged gals have apprehensions like me? Are you changing your last name to your husbands? If so, how do you deal with losing part of your identity?

Comments (2)

  • I think I might actually be making my last name my middle name. (I currently don't have one) I'm doing it for convenience because I heard it makes it much more simpler for legal purposes.  I'm glad though because it made me a little sad to think my family's name was dwindling.  We only have 2 girls so there's no boys to pass on our last name.  I feel like I'll get to keep a part of "me" while becoming a part of "him" at the same time.

  • same with always ss :) I might make my last name my middle... I'm still sad about having to change my last name... maybe that's why I'm prolonging the engagement ;)

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